Vulnerability is facing what you have been avoiding about yourself!

Vulnerability and the extent of it has been intriguing me. I somehow could not grasp, I felt, the essence of it, completely.  I kept wondering what it is,  and how  to make vulnerability a strength. Isn’t it about exposing your weaknesses and how do we know if that would be received well or wouldn’t be used against you, I wondered. I think many of us do stop ourselves there; we in fact mask our vulnerabilities and hope that no one notices them either!

Reading up more on the subject and listening to experts talk about it, I realize it is not about ‘exposing’ ourselves to the world, but daring to go inwards rather! Exploring those areas of ourselves we seldom visit, those areas we would not like to ruffle, those discomforts that we get comfortable with, those blind spots we may not recognize and refuse to accept if pointed out!

Vulnerability is the willingness to check within and the courage to face our demons, accept what is going on and work on what needs to be changed. It is saying, ‘ I have a tendency to get defensive whenever someone points out something against my point of view’, ‘I form opinions before I know enough about people’, or ‘I am left with this fear that people will not accept me if I bare my true self…’, ‘ I feel ashamed/guilty of….’ .

It is the courage to be authentic, being honest to self, understanding and admitting our own triggers, patterns, behaviors and reactions, and mustering the nerve to face our fears and start working on them. It is the willingness to extend your hand first than wait for others to do, it is the willingness to admit to a mistake, recognize it was a mistake in the first place and moving past the ego, willingness to express our feelings and thoughts while respecting others’ opinions without fear or self-doubt, it is the courage to take the first steps.

So WHY? Why do we need to do this? Why be vulnerable? Things are fine as they are, we all move around just fine, we may say!

Unless we know what we are and what we think and feel, what we express may not be in alignment with ourselves; we do not understand another person the way they are as we project our inner image onto them.  The way we perceive others may be linked to the way we think we are perceived by others. We have seen people who are overly cynical and suspicious, critical or over-analytical, controlling or playing victims.  If we study them for a while, these may be the people who always look for those traits in others, finding it difficult to trust and appreciate, let go or be open minded.

It is important for our growth, clarity of mind and openness of heart that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, face and process our own thoughts and emotions, and change our patterns of thinking and behavior. It changes the dynamics in our relationships, boosts our confidence as there are no fears holding us back and the world will appear to be a better place, indeed!